35 Years of Pure Love: My Life as a Duranie by Maya Garcia
They say you never forget your first love, and in my case I'm lucky- I had five first loves: Nick, Simon, Andy, Roger and John,
otherwise known as Duran Duran. This next August 8, (or 8.8, as I prefer to call it) marks the 35th year of my Duranie fandom, or what we'd call my 'Duranniversary' in the fan community.
For the most part, in many ways, it's been one of the happiest relationships of my life.
They are so much more than a band to me, they've become a part of my family, their stories
have become interwoven with my own, often running in parallel lines, albeit under rather different circumstances,
half a world away.
I have spent so much of my life admiring this band and studiously following their careers and lives
I hardly know where I start and they begin anymore. This is particularly true with my favorite Duran Duran band member, keyboardist Nick Rhodes, who I've half-jokingly referred to as my "virtual husband," the rest of this band of brothers, John, Simon and Roger feel like family at this point. I know a lot of longtime fans feel the same way about their favorites, but it truly boggles my mind when I think about it. From my love of fashion, esoteric films and music, to fully embracing the arts, "my boys" have definitely influenced every aspect of my life. Ever since I was 8 years old Duran Duran has been a part of my life. As a tiny Duranie, dancing around to 'Hungry Like the Wolf,' to that pre-teen girl, who dressed up in makeup and posed for the camera, dreaming about being the model the boys chased around the beaches of Montserrat, tigers and elephants in tow. As the girl who had floor to ceiling posters, stickers, throw pillows, and every single she could get her hands on (imports too, if you please,) not to mention every other piece of merchandise her parents could afford to buy. That lonely, only child found a home, an outlet, in these five men from England. They showed her that men can wear makeup, dress glamorously and make beautiful music that inspired her to dream, to create, and to not feel so alone.
Even during those "lost years," when I drifted away from the fan base (I was never part of the fan club until I found my way there via social media in 2010), they were still a comforting presence in my life whenever I wanted to reminisce back to my childhood, my more innocent days. My childhood was never easy; in fact it was very traumatic. But Duran Duran were a lifeline in many ways, a happy escape from the duality of coping on the outside, falling apart on the inside, from carrying the weight of sexual and ritual abuse on my shoulders.
I turned to my love of Duran Duran through the darkest days of my life, not just in childhood. After my first marriage fell apart, amidst the devastation it seemed fitting that one of the first things I opened up was my Duran Duran box set of singles (1981-1985), which ironically my ex-husband gave me as a birthday gift a year before we split up. Though the bittersweet memory of listening to it in his car, seat-dancing in unison as he sped down the I-10/Pacific Coast Highway still hurt like hell, I knew that Duran Duran was something that always soothed my soul. Listening to those B-sides again especially brought back so many fond memories. This was something that could never be taken away from me, no matter what else happened in my life.
Duran Duran just so happened to be touring again as I was going through yet another tumultuous shift in my life. It was perfect, cosmic timing, as the second marriage I'd entered into wasn't working out. Deep down I knew it was a mistake early on, yet I persevered. Spending the better part of two years following the band on tour, traveling, making new friends and getting wrapped up in the excitement of the album helped me find my truest self again. I knew that I could stand on my own two feet, I didn't need to settle for an unfulfilling, emotionally-abusive relationship just to avoid being alone. As the Duran Duran song goes, "you don't need anybody, all you need is NOW!"
So now, as yet another new album tour reaches its conclusion in the coming months of 2017, I face life on my own terms, as a single, empowered woman, ready to meet whatever challenges come at me, head on. But I know that Duran Duran will ALWAYS have my back, somehow. They are my "instant happy." I've often said to friends that my soulmate is out there, he exists, and he is a Duran Duran fan. How do I know? I just do, that's all I can say for now. I was designed for an extraordinary life, and this is no exception. Also, I've had the most success in all other relationships in my life with fellow Duranies, so why not this too? Some things are just written in the stars. "Take me up 'til I'm shooting a star." But for now, while I wait for our inevitable face to fate meeting (Durantime, that's all I'm saying- insiders will get the joke), I shall happily roam Planet Earth on my own, following my favorite band!
Remember I said that I've fully embraced the arts because of Duran Duran? I wasn't kidding. I decided to make a go of it as an artist, in my own right, after receiving some encouraging words from John Taylor ("good girl; keep it up" he said at the book signing for "In the Pleasure Groove," after I thanked him for inspiring me to follow my dreams again), and seeing images from Nick Rhodes' "Bei Incubi" art photography exhibition. Since 2013, I have created a design concern, "Maya's Divine Designs," shown my work in several exhibitions, and have illustrated my first published novel, "Before the Fire." Duran Duran have also inspired my artwork, in more ways than one. Their 2015 release, 'Paper Gods,' inspired an exhibition, 'The Death of Decency,' part of which ('Side Effects') was shown at Metro Chicago in November of 2016. The show, like the song, deals with the rampant greed and consumerism, which had taken over much of our society. As of revising this article, the full show is looking for a home. Follow my page for more details.
They have given me more joy than pain, more ups than downs, more laughter than tears, and more friendships and years of pure fun than any other. Thank you for always being there for me when I've needed you, for lifting my spirits consistently, and for being an outlet of happy escape through some of the darkest periods of my life. So much more than 'just' a band, hobby, obsession or a crush. Duran Duran is an intrinsic part of my life, and always will be. I love you all, dearly and eternally.
Maya Garcia is a writer, poet, artist, singer and advocate. She has a design firm, Maya’s Divine Designs, and is the author and illustrator of Before the Fire. She is an active member of the survivors’ community, having written articles on the subjects of sexual abuse, ritual abuse, domestic abuse, P.T.S.D. and trauma for Elephant Journal and Stigma Fighters. She is an outspoken supporter of the “Red My Lips” campaign and Amnesty International's women's rights efforts, in particular.
They say you never forget your first love, and in my case I'm lucky- I had five first loves: Nick, Simon, Andy, Roger and John,
otherwise known as Duran Duran. This next August 8, (or 8.8, as I prefer to call it) marks the 35th year of my Duranie fandom, or what we'd call my 'Duranniversary' in the fan community.
For the most part, in many ways, it's been one of the happiest relationships of my life.
They are so much more than a band to me, they've become a part of my family, their stories
have become interwoven with my own, often running in parallel lines, albeit under rather different circumstances,
half a world away.
I have spent so much of my life admiring this band and studiously following their careers and lives
I hardly know where I start and they begin anymore. This is particularly true with my favorite Duran Duran band member, keyboardist Nick Rhodes, who I've half-jokingly referred to as my "virtual husband," the rest of this band of brothers, John, Simon and Roger feel like family at this point. I know a lot of longtime fans feel the same way about their favorites, but it truly boggles my mind when I think about it. From my love of fashion, esoteric films and music, to fully embracing the arts, "my boys" have definitely influenced every aspect of my life. Ever since I was 8 years old Duran Duran has been a part of my life. As a tiny Duranie, dancing around to 'Hungry Like the Wolf,' to that pre-teen girl, who dressed up in makeup and posed for the camera, dreaming about being the model the boys chased around the beaches of Montserrat, tigers and elephants in tow. As the girl who had floor to ceiling posters, stickers, throw pillows, and every single she could get her hands on (imports too, if you please,) not to mention every other piece of merchandise her parents could afford to buy. That lonely, only child found a home, an outlet, in these five men from England. They showed her that men can wear makeup, dress glamorously and make beautiful music that inspired her to dream, to create, and to not feel so alone.
Even during those "lost years," when I drifted away from the fan base (I was never part of the fan club until I found my way there via social media in 2010), they were still a comforting presence in my life whenever I wanted to reminisce back to my childhood, my more innocent days. My childhood was never easy; in fact it was very traumatic. But Duran Duran were a lifeline in many ways, a happy escape from the duality of coping on the outside, falling apart on the inside, from carrying the weight of sexual and ritual abuse on my shoulders.
I turned to my love of Duran Duran through the darkest days of my life, not just in childhood. After my first marriage fell apart, amidst the devastation it seemed fitting that one of the first things I opened up was my Duran Duran box set of singles (1981-1985), which ironically my ex-husband gave me as a birthday gift a year before we split up. Though the bittersweet memory of listening to it in his car, seat-dancing in unison as he sped down the I-10/Pacific Coast Highway still hurt like hell, I knew that Duran Duran was something that always soothed my soul. Listening to those B-sides again especially brought back so many fond memories. This was something that could never be taken away from me, no matter what else happened in my life.
Duran Duran just so happened to be touring again as I was going through yet another tumultuous shift in my life. It was perfect, cosmic timing, as the second marriage I'd entered into wasn't working out. Deep down I knew it was a mistake early on, yet I persevered. Spending the better part of two years following the band on tour, traveling, making new friends and getting wrapped up in the excitement of the album helped me find my truest self again. I knew that I could stand on my own two feet, I didn't need to settle for an unfulfilling, emotionally-abusive relationship just to avoid being alone. As the Duran Duran song goes, "you don't need anybody, all you need is NOW!"
So now, as yet another new album tour reaches its conclusion in the coming months of 2017, I face life on my own terms, as a single, empowered woman, ready to meet whatever challenges come at me, head on. But I know that Duran Duran will ALWAYS have my back, somehow. They are my "instant happy." I've often said to friends that my soulmate is out there, he exists, and he is a Duran Duran fan. How do I know? I just do, that's all I can say for now. I was designed for an extraordinary life, and this is no exception. Also, I've had the most success in all other relationships in my life with fellow Duranies, so why not this too? Some things are just written in the stars. "Take me up 'til I'm shooting a star." But for now, while I wait for our inevitable face to fate meeting (Durantime, that's all I'm saying- insiders will get the joke), I shall happily roam Planet Earth on my own, following my favorite band!
Remember I said that I've fully embraced the arts because of Duran Duran? I wasn't kidding. I decided to make a go of it as an artist, in my own right, after receiving some encouraging words from John Taylor ("good girl; keep it up" he said at the book signing for "In the Pleasure Groove," after I thanked him for inspiring me to follow my dreams again), and seeing images from Nick Rhodes' "Bei Incubi" art photography exhibition. Since 2013, I have created a design concern, "Maya's Divine Designs," shown my work in several exhibitions, and have illustrated my first published novel, "Before the Fire." Duran Duran have also inspired my artwork, in more ways than one. Their 2015 release, 'Paper Gods,' inspired an exhibition, 'The Death of Decency,' part of which ('Side Effects') was shown at Metro Chicago in November of 2016. The show, like the song, deals with the rampant greed and consumerism, which had taken over much of our society. As of revising this article, the full show is looking for a home. Follow my page for more details.
They have given me more joy than pain, more ups than downs, more laughter than tears, and more friendships and years of pure fun than any other. Thank you for always being there for me when I've needed you, for lifting my spirits consistently, and for being an outlet of happy escape through some of the darkest periods of my life. So much more than 'just' a band, hobby, obsession or a crush. Duran Duran is an intrinsic part of my life, and always will be. I love you all, dearly and eternally.
Maya Garcia is a writer, poet, artist, singer and advocate. She has a design firm, Maya’s Divine Designs, and is the author and illustrator of Before the Fire. She is an active member of the survivors’ community, having written articles on the subjects of sexual abuse, ritual abuse, domestic abuse, P.T.S.D. and trauma for Elephant Journal and Stigma Fighters. She is an outspoken supporter of the “Red My Lips” campaign and Amnesty International's women's rights efforts, in particular.